Well, I think it's about time to bring this Xanga to a close.  It's brought me through two years of college life and God is moving me on...

my new blog based around my experience as a missionary in the inner city is:

www.beckyinbakersfield.blogspot.com

PUT IT IN YOUR FAVORITES OR BOOKMARK IT :)

love you guys... all of you.

Wow, I've been attending Willow Creek's Leadership Summit Simulcast at my church today... all day - and I was blown away.  Wish I had time to talk about it, but I'm exhausted!  I'm still processing, too... as soon as I know what to write about, I will....

Well today surprised me.  I got the book "Captivating" because so many people had casually brought it up in conversation with me.  Spent about 2 hours reading it and underlined about everything in there.  It's all about how we, as women, long to be pursued and romanced and unveil beauty... how we long to be a part of something adventerous... how we want to save the world... how we are intensely committed to relationship...

So, picture me laying on the couch reading this and thinking "yes!... yes!..." and wanting Jeff to read this book so he can figure me out a little more (you know, a helpful guide :)).  And my dog starts freakishly barking up a storm.  He only does this when a tape measure is pulled out or someone is coming up to the door.  Seeing no tape measure around, I figure someone is here to see my brothers (no one comes to visit me)... I watch from my comfortable position on the couch with my book and my small white dog attempts to protect the family from a tall, handsome, business clad young man - who just happens to be my boyfriend!

I was shocked... he totally surprised me and came to see me when I didn't think I'd get to see him for awhile tonight.  Asked me if I wanted to go with him to get an icee (our FAVORITE snack... see, Jeff - I have favorites!), played a little Xbox at his place, watched 1/2 of Constantine, and came home to a house in uproar. 

Can't go into much detail, but it's heart breaking when you, as the older sister, start to see your little brother making bad choices.  Choices that start out as funny and joking, but turn out rotten.  I feel like those two boys are my own sons... I was 4 when Tyler was born and 6 when Kyle was.  I changed their diapers and loved them with all my heart.  Now, I get to sit back a little and watch good parenting... my parents are awesome at discipline and making us see the right from wrong.  So far, two out of the three children have chosen ministry related fields of work (me, at least for this year).

We are made for relationships... I don't think I've realized that more than I have today.  So after days of bumming around because I have literally NO girlfriends here to hang out with, I decided to do something about it.  I called Laura Driscoll this morning, which is ALWAYS a good idea and talked to her for about an hour and a half.  We talked about her and the big change in her life, and then we went on to me, and the issues I feel I'm dealing with (and not so well).  She always gives the best advice, and I feel that I gained back a friend that I let slip through my fingers.

Every person I have talked to in the past 3 days has mentioned the book "Captivating" by John Eldridge I think... I seriously have to go get it - just because four different people have brought it up in casual conversation.  I think it talks a lot about what I'm going through ... being a girl, wanting to be pursued and loved and cherished, and that that's a good thing!

Tonight, I called a supporter who hadn't sent in their check yet and told him I'd be glad to drive and pick it up... he told me to meet him at the boat marina.  So, I drove to East Peoria and made two more phone calls on the way to supporters who haven't contacted me yet (multi-tasking... wonder if that's a part of "Captivating"), and when I get to the Marina, the couple asks me if I want to go for a ride in their boat.  Always secretly wanting a boat of my own, I giddily agreed and off we went into the middle of the beautiful, green Illinois River. 

I asked them to tell me their love story because I LOVE people's love stories - and I LOVE hearing couples tell them together because they're always "No, honey - it was THREE days later that you kissed me, not TWO!", as if it really changes the outcome of the story but somehow matters because it's THEIR story.  So romantic... she was telling me how they would meet in high school at the Washington square for dances and then drive to the Root Beer Stand for drinks.  JUST LIKE IN THE 50'S!  I've also secretly wished I lived in the 50's just so Root Beer stands and drive in movies could be a part of my love story :)